So many people undervalue foreplay, especially in a world where people are increasingly pressed for time, and they really shouldn’t. Foreplay is about more than getting your body ready for the main event. It’s also an essential part of connecting with your partner, as well as elevating your entire sex life in a variety of ways.
That said, if you want to have a spicier intimate life and more fulfilling sex overall, one of the best things you can do for yourself is pay more attention to foreplay. Here are some must-know tips, truths, and best practices to get you started in the right direction.
Foreplay isn’t just for women
It’s a common misconception that only women enjoy foreplay or need it in the first place. Yes, in most instances, a woman’s body does take a little longer to get ready for what comes next than a man’s. But that doesn’t mean men can’t benefit from leaning into foreplay and fully exploring the possibilities.
A man may not absolutely need foreplay to make sure he has an orgasm once the sex starts. But foreplay adds so much to a sexual experience. Giving yourself and your partner a chance to get fully aroused, both physically and mentally, takes sex to another level – all the way from good to great – and foreplay helps make that happen.
Foreplay doesn’t have to start in the bedroom
Most people’s idea of foreplay starts and stops at the few minutes of kissing and touching that happen in the bedroom just before the sex, but that doesn’t have to be the case. Foreplay can encompass just about anything, as well as start anytime and anywhere, so don’t be afraid to get a little creative.
Foreplay can start in the morning with a deep kiss and some playful groping on your partner’s way out the door. It can continue over the course of the day in the form of sexting or naughty selfies. It can be about dirty little whispers out in public, intimate touching while you cuddle in front of the TV, or just about anything else you can think of.
Foreplay is best when you take your time
Think back to your high school days and those exquisite first make-out experiences. Getting up close and personal with someone you were attracted to, or dating wasn’t always about having sex. (In fact, it probably wasn’t the vast majority of the time.) Instead of rushing to the main event, you simply leaned into the experience of kissing someone, exploring their body, and soaking up every detail.
You don’t have to be a teenager to truly enjoy being intimate with someone in this way. You just need to remind yourself that, once upon a time, foreplay was the main event instead of just something you rushed through to get to the next thing.
So recapture a bit of that experience the next time you and your partner have some downtime. Kiss, touch, and hold one another. Breathe each other in and enjoy each other without the assumption that things are evolving toward sex. Foreplay can be an excellent way to be intimate together, even in instances when it doesn’t (or can’t) lead to sex.
Foreplay provides a great opportunity to play with toys
While sex toys are an excellent way to enjoy a quick and dirty orgasm when you really want one, they also make wonderful additions to foreplay. This is especially true for non-penetrative vibrators, feather ticklers, and other options that can be used to tease and titillate the nerve endings in unusual ways.
Treat your partner to a sensual head-to-toe massage that includes your favorite wand vibrator. Start by focusing on sore muscles and tense body parts. Then finish up with a happy ending or take things into the bedroom for some additional one-on-one play.
Use a vibrating egg or bullet vibe to pleasure-map each other’s bodies. Explore, stimulate, and focus on each body part, avoiding known erogenous zones until the end. This is a beautiful way to discover new erogenous zones, as well as unusual ways you like to be stimulated that you may not have been aware of before.
Foreplay can be its own thing
Foreplay doesn’t always have to lead to sex, and sometimes it’s better if it doesn’t. Activities like oral sex, mutual masturbation, and grinding can be enjoyed all on their own – all the way to the point of orgasm, if you like – and they’re much too fun to miss out on. They’re also great ways to connect with your partner at times full-blown sex might be impractical or undesirable.
In other words, foreplay is one of the best, most powerful activities you’re likely not focusing on intently enough. Start changing that today, and watch the overall quality of your sex life improve.