Everyone knows a couple who are perpetually all over each other despite having been together for ages. What’s more, everyone dreams of being part of a couple like that and with good reason. After all, who wouldn’t want to be madly in love and having scorching hot sex with their chosen partner for the rest of their days?
Unfortunately, though, daydreaming about being in that situation is a lot easier than cultivating it. It’s not impossible, though. You just need to know what you’re doing and have a complete understanding of what people in sizzling marriages do differently. So here are a few suggestions to start with.
Keep experimentation on the menu.
Long-time couples who are comfortable with one another have figured out how to satisfy each other in bed. They know what works and what doesn’t. However, they also tend to stick to that, which can lead to lackluster, predictable sex after a while. The key to keeping ruts at bay and boredom from setting in is to also keep novelty and spontaneity in the mix.
When the mood strikes to surprise your partner by coming to bed in a new lingerie set, send them a naughty selfie while they’re at work, or get a bit frisky in public, don’t stifle that feeling. Instead, go with it the way you would have when you first got together. It’s a great way to stay young at heart, not to mention remain firmly on your partner’s mind when you’re not around.
Start a pleasure chest and fill it with toys, accessories, and other goodies to play with on nights when you’re in the mood to mix things up. That way, there’s always something fun to reach for when you’re feeling extra frisky without your having to think too much about it. Plus, adding to it together as a couple can be a fun way to build and maintain intimacy.
Talk freely and often about sex.
Having enough sex isn’t an issue for some couples, but having enough conversation about sex is another matter entirely. Whether it’s because of upbringing or something else entirely, sex remains a challenging topic to talk about for many people, even when the people in question are in a long-term sexual relationship. But finding a way to get past that is also one of the most effective ways to keep the sizzle in your marriage over time.
So, if you haven’t done so already, it’s time to work on opening a frank, free-flowing dialogue with your partner about sex. Yes, you should totally be discussing the practical side of what’s working and what isn’t when it comes to your existing sex life. But you should also be discussing the fun stuff on a regular basis.
When was the last time you confessed a taboo turn-on to your partner or told them about a fantasy you’d love to take for a spin in real life? How about the last time you randomly brought up an extra-spicy past romp just for the sake of reliving it? Actively start doing these things again, encourage your partner to do the same, and turn it into a habit. You might be surprised how much hotter it makes your marriage, in general.
Shake off your usual bedroom roles.
Just as so many couples tend to fall into sexual ruts that find them busting out the same old moves repeatedly, people also tend to adopt specific roles and stick to them no matter what. For instance, there’s usually one person who always initiates sex while the other waits for that to happen – one person who’s the passive one in the bedroom while the other calls the shots.
If that sounds like you and your partner, it’s officially time to mix things up. Hot couples who can’t stop thinking about the next time they’re in bed together step out of their comfort zones. Both give, and both take. They take turns initiating sex, spontaneously starting naughty sext exchanges, and breaking out the toys when it’s time for something different.
So, are you usually the modest one who’s bashful about being vocal in bed or taking the more dominant role for yourself? Try turning the tables one night for a fun change of pace or outright asking your partner if they’d be turned on if you acted a little out of character. Full-on roleplaying can be a fun way to step out of your comfort zones in a fun, approachable way, as well.
At the end of the day, the key to keeping the sexual spark alive between the two of you is not to lose your sense of fun, adventure, and creativity when it comes to your bedroom repertoire. There’s no such thing as too old or too “married” to explore and experiment together, so don’t let anyone tell you different.