All About Roleplaying: Why You Should Try It and How to Get Started

If you’re like most people, you probably still have fond memories of playing dress-up or make-believe as a child, and with good reason. Pretending to be someone else for a little while can be lots of fun, not to mention a great way to tap into your natural creativity. It can also be strangely freeing – a great way to explore a completely different side of yourself.

Believe it or not, adults can benefit from playing a little make-believe from time to time, as well – especially in the bedroom. That’s where roleplaying comes in. Here’s a closer look at everything you need to know about roleplaying to get started on the right foot.

Think about what you’d like to do

If you’re reading this right now, then the chances are pretty good there’s a part of you that knows roleplaying is a perfect fit for you. But if it’s a new idea in general, you may not yet have any idea what you’d like to do and try, given the chance. It’s officially time to think about it.

Is there a particular scenario that really gets you going when you watch porn or read erotica? Are there any particular scenes in movies or television shows that you find especially hot? Or perhaps there are real-life professions or situations that you find unbelievably erotic. All of these are good factors to consider when considering what type of roleplay, you might be interested in.

Talk it through with your partner

If you’re in a relationship or have a regular sex partner right now, the next step is to bring up the idea of roleplaying with them and see how they feel about the idea. After all, consent is an absolute essential when it comes to any type of sex play that involves another person. It’s also just a plain good idea to involve your partner in the planning process from the start.

Start by asking your partner how they feel about roleplay as a concept. Is it something they’ve thought about before? Maybe this is something they also fantasize about but simply haven’t thought about how to ask for. What scenarios and costumes do they like the idea of? Put your heads together and come up with some ideas you’ll both like.

Start things slow and easy

Even seasoned roleplayers who would be the envy of any sex-positive couple had to start somewhere, and it probably wasn’t with a full repertoire of costumes, fantasy scenarios, and techniques in their arsenal. People who are into roleplaying typically get into it slowly – a little bit at a time. As they learn more about what they like, they develop their approaches further.

So it’s not only okay but probably preferable for you and your partner to take things slowly. Start with a couple of options you both like the sounds of – a special lingerie set or costume and perhaps a toy or two to help things along. Then try some dirty talk followed by some interesting location choices. Take note of what you like (and what you don’t) and use it to make future roleplay sessions even better.

Don’t be afraid to have fun with it

A lot of people who are new to roleplaying like the idea of it but aren’t sure how it will go over in practice. Certain things about it can strike them as funny. And there are often times when they just become hyper-aware that they’re playing make-believe, and they just have to laugh as a result.

They’re also worried those things make them bad roleplayers or bad partners, but they’re wrong. Roleplaying doesn’t have to be serious business all the time (or ever). It’s supposed to be fun, and it’s definitely okay to laugh, be silly, and feel silly sometimes. Just embrace it as part of the process of finding a rhythm that works for you.

Take it as far as you like

Of course, there’s nothing wrong with it if you and your partner discover you really love roleplaying and tend to take it pretty seriously, either. There are lots of couples out there who turn buying costumes, collecting toys, and coming up with pet play scenarios into something approaching living art. It’s okay if you and your partner want to follow in their footsteps.

The great thing about roleplaying is it can be absolutely anything you want it to be. It can be serious or silly, artistic, or playful. It can be a great way to start exploring (and playing with) concepts like gender roles, personal boundaries, established power dynamics, and more.

The sky is truly the limit. You and your partner are the ones in the driver’s seat all the way, so absolutely anything goes.

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