Sexual Boundaries

5 Expert Tips for Pushing Your Sexual Boundaries

Whether you have a regular sex partner or are simply flying solo for the time being, there’s something to be said for figuring out what works and sticking with it when you just want a straight shot to Orgasm Town. But it’s essential to question and even push your boundaries from time to time, as well.

People’s likes, dislikes, and bodies can change over the years in many ways, and challenging your boundaries ensures you’re still in touch with what feels best to you. Pushing sexual boundaries can help keep sex fun, fresh, and exciting. And it’s a very effective way to keep yourself from falling into a bedroom rut, especially when life gets hectic. Here are some tips for doing it right.

1.      Commit to exploring your back door

You’d be surprised how many otherwise sexually adventurous people have never explored their anal area (or their partner’s). Some are put off by it because they think of it as an inherently dirty area. Others are worried it will hurt or otherwise feel unpleasant, but none of those things is true.

Everyone has an anal area packed with sensitive nerve endings just waiting to be stimulated, so it’s well worth exploring yours. Anal play doesn’t hurt if you use plenty of lube and wait until you’re fully aroused and relaxed to try actual penetration. And dirtiness is far less of a problem than you likely realize, so try it. You won’t be sorry.

2.      Channel your hidden exhibitionist

Just to be clear, it’s crucial not to deliberately involve others in your sexual escapades without their consent, and you really want to be careful not to get caught. But getting a little (or a lot) frisky in public is an exhilarating way to push your boundaries and get far enough out of your usual way to keep things exciting.

So start looking for ways to get back in touch with your inner teenager. Try getting it on in your backyard or on your balcony after the sun goes down. Find a scenic place to park and get frisky in your car, just like you did in high school. Invest in a small, discreet, remote-controlled sex toy you can play around with in public without anyone else catching on. You’ll be glad you did!

3.      Confess your naughtiest fantasies

Although no one should ever feel pressured to do anything they truly aren’t okay with, challenging yourself to try something that makes you a little uncomfortable (in a healthy way) can be fantastic for your sex life. Sharing your most illicit fantasies with your partner (and listening without judgment as they share theirs) can be nerve-wracking but also a massive turn-on.

So definitely consider sitting down with your partner, committing to a judgment-free exchange, and swapping pet fantasies with one another. If you’re more comfortable, you can start small and build your way up to the racier scenarios. Add any that you both like to a running list you can refer to in the future when you’re in the mood to spice things up a bit.

4.      Round out your toy collection

Most people and couples these days have at least one or two go-to sex toys they like to reach for when they want to bring a little extra stimulation into the mix. (Accessible, versatile options like magic wands, vibrating bullets, and vibrating cock rings are just a few popular picks most couples have tried.) But if you’re serious about pushing boundaries more often, there’s nothing like a well-stocked toy chest to help things along.

Start with what you already have, and then make a plan for adding new items. Set a standing date with one another to shop for new toys together according to an ongoing schedule. And if life’s too busy or hectic for you to guarantee being available for that, consider subscribing to a curated monthly service like Seductive Pleasure Box. That way, all you need to do is pay your low recurring subscription fees, and a box full of new goodies appears on your doorstep every month like magic.

5.      Try boundary-pushing sex play

Some sexual pastimes were positively invented with dedicated boundary pushers in mind. Think BDSM, role reversal, role-playing, orgasm denial, and more. And you don’t necessarily need to go from 0 to 100 with something like that to get a whole lot out of it, either. You can (and should) start small and then turn the dial up a bit at a time as you get used to things and learn more about what you like.

Pushing sexual boundaries in this way can teach you so much about what you’re into sexually. And it can boost intimacy between couples by leaps and bounds, so don’t be afraid to get on board. You won’t regret it.

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