It’s not just those who struggle with love, dating, and relationships who ponder whether their experiences are normal. Even insanely sexy couples with hot relationships that make them the envy of all their friends wonder how they stack up against everyone else. It’s not hard to see why, either.
All you need to do is pick up any book, watch any rom-com, or even just scroll through your social media feeds to wind up bombarded with stories of “happily ever after” that imply happy couples invariably bone like bunnies. But the reality is actually a lot different, so the chances are pretty good you’re more normal than you think.
How Much Sex Is Considered Enough?
Most people ask themselves many questions about their sex lives, even if they’re satisfied and know their partner is, too. That said, you’re in good company if you do the same. How sexually active are you compared to other people? How sexually active should a couple be if they’re serious about keeping their relationship healthy?
For starters, it’s essential to realize that there’s no such thing as normal regarding sex. There’s only what’s normal for you and your partner – the amount and frequency required for both of you to feel happy and satisfied. For some couples, that could be once a day, but for others, it might be closer to once a month.
However, if you’re concerned with how often the average couple has sex, it’s roughly 54 times a year, according to a 2017 study published by the Archives of Human Behavior. That shakes out to approximately once a week. Experts also consider that to be the frequency that’s “just right” for most people, so it’s a good idea to shoot for at least that often if you’re not sure how much sex is right for your relationship.
What Are the Most Common Reasons for Not Having Enough Sex?
Just as it’s normal for some couples to crave sex either more or less often than others, it’s also perfectly normal for just about anyone to simply not be in the mood for a while. Unless you’ve actually started feeling like sex is a chore, the occasional dry spell is nothing to worry about.
But it does help to know the most common reasons why this happens. The following are some excellent examples.
- Chronic health issues like fatigue, inflammation, and arthritis can impact a person’s libido and affect how often they’re in the mood for sex.
- Stress related to work, child-rearing, and more can make zap your energy and make it harder to get in the mood to get down and dirty, especially at the end of the day.
- The constant connectivity facilitated by devices like smartphones and tablets can help you stay in touch with those far away from you. But it can also foster distance between people in relationships.
- Body image issues can affect a person’s desire to have sex in the first place, as well as their ability to fully enjoy the sex they do have.
If you or your partner are experiencing any of those triggers, it’s a good idea to take a proactive approach to your sex life and make it the priority it should be to prevent problems.
How to Get More Out of Sex (and Have More of It)
Your sex life is like anything else you consider worthwhile in life. You get out of it what you put into it, so even a little innovation and effort go a long way. Here are some tips to get you started in the right direction.
Schedule your intimate time
Expand your definition of sex
Sign up for a sex box
Remember, it’s ultimately up to you and your partner to decide how much sex is enough for you in your relationship. But putting in the effort to keep your sex life healthy is always a good investment, so don’t be afraid to do so.